O'Grady Psychology Associates

Psychotherapy, Marriage Counseling, Neuropsychological Assessment

By 2 Comments

How to Survive a Rip Current of the Mind When Practicing Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness Meditation

Ruminations and Worry Make Meditation and CBT Difficult

Recently during a visit to Hawaii, I read a pamphlet on ocean safety that described how to survive a rip current. They can travel 1-8 feet per second, meaning that in an astonishing 8 seconds, you could be carried sixty-four feet out to sea!  The instinct is to fight the rip, which only makes it worse because fighting something that powerful is exhausting.  After exhaustion comes panic, and in gulping for air, swimmers choke on seawater.

In mindfulness training, we talk about letting thoughts pass away like waves in the ocean. But what if your mind gets caught in a rip current? When the waves are so turbulent that they produce the conditions ripe for a rip?

Surviving a rip current depends on doing something that is contrary to instinct. The key is not to fight the current but to understand it and go with the flow—while at the same time, swimming across the strong current, parallel to the shore. Find a spot where waves are breaking on the shore, and let yourself be carried back to the beach by the same ocean that took you away. If you are unable to swim diagonally to the shore until the waves carry you back, then relax and let the current carry you out: it will eventually lose strength and, if you have conserved your energy, you can swim back.

The same instructions can be applied to mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. Many people come to mindfulness meditation, or Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) or stress reduction (MBST) depressed, anxious, or dealing with panic disorders. Asking them to sit still and silently focus on their breathing is an enormous task.  We talk about letting thoughts pass away like waves in the ocean, but what if your mind gets caught in a rip current? Often, the thought stream is too strong for the breath to anchor them, and MBCT clients get carried out to sea by their ruminations and worries.

When the mind gets carried away in a panicky current, it feels as if there is no escape. At those moments, the urge is to give up, even to quit the practice. So, when feelings threaten to overwhelm you during meditation, turn to wisdom learned from the sea.

Remember that a rip current doesn’t pull swimmers underwater; it carries them away from shore in a narrow channel of water. When your mind begins to ruminate, think of the thoughts as a channel, not the whole ocean. That channel can be overcome by allowing yourself to relax and accept the strong pull. Fighting it will wear you out. Notice where the shore is, pay attention to the flow of the water as it moves to the shoreline, and think of your body as the shore, grounding you. You are solid and firm. Ruminative thinking, like the rip current, will lose its strength eventually, and you can return your focus to your breathing. Each time you resist your instinct to fight the overwhelming thoughts and just accept them, you will be training yourself to be a stronger and smarter swimmer.

How to Survive a Rip Current

Remain calm, do not panic. Should you find yourself caught in a current that’s taking you away from where you entered the water, remember that panicking will only tire you.

  1. Go with the flow. Do not attempt to fight the current. You will almost always lose the battle. Swim across or perpendicular to the current’s direction.
  2. Wait until the current releases you. It will.
  3. Swim parallel to shore and then make your way in.

From KORC (Kauai Ocean Rescue Council)

By 1 Comment

A Lesson In Mindfulness: Blackberry Picking

Being mindful when doing daily tasks is a lesson in informal meditation practice.

The Great Irish Poet Seamus Heaney died yesterday. He won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1995. In this youtube, he reads his poem, Blackberry Picking. This poem has always been a favorite of our family. As in all poetry, it has many layers of meaning. When our daughters were growing up, we spent several dinner conversations discussing the poem and what it meant to each of us.

Mindfulness is not hoarding experience but finding pleasure in the moment.

Being in the moment means being aware of the colors and smells, the taste, and the pain of scratched hands. There is an awareness that this moment will not last. It cannot last. No matter how much we want it to last, it will not. Our minds will inevitably move onto the next thought, and the next experience. Picking blackberries requires patience as ripe berries are often hidden in the brambles and you have to reach deep into the thicket to gently pull the tender berry from its lodging. It takes many berries to fill a pot. With that much work, the urge is to hurry through the task so we can either stuff ourselves or start the jam making. Whether it’s to gobble the berries so quickly, without tasting them–or to finish bottling jam so we can cross it off our list for the day–the sense experience of berry picking is lost. Eating freshly picked berries is one of life’s delights. Awareness of the briefness of those moments brings appreciation and attention to the simplest task. Trying to hoard the berries, just like hoarding experience will bring disappointment. In mindfulness practice, we learn to accept the moment knowing that it will fade into the next moment. If you keep the berries in the byre, they will rot and turn sour. Being mindful when doing daily tasks is a lesson in informal meditation practice.

The poem Blackberry Picking, shows how hoarding experiences for later, spoils the moment.

 

Late August, given heavy rain and sun
for a full week, the blackberries would ripen.
At first, just one, a glossy purple clot
among others, red, green, hard as a knot.
You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet
like thickened wine: summer’s blood was in it
leaving stains upon the tongue and lust for
picking. Then red ones inked up and that hunger
sent us out with milk cans, pea tins, jam-pots
where briars scratched and wet grass bleached our boots.
Round hayfields, cornfields and potato-drills
we trekked and picked until the cans were full
until the tinkling bottom had been covered
with green ones, and on top big dark blobs burned
like a plate of eyes. Our hands were peppered
with thorn pricks, our palms sticky as Bluebeard’s.
We hoarded the fresh berries in the byre.
But when the bath was filled we found a fur,
a rat-grey fungus, glutting on our cache.
The juice was stinking too. Once off the bush
the fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour.
I always felt like crying. It wasn’t fair
that all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot.
Each year I hoped they’d keep, knew they would not.

–Seamus Heaney 1939-2013

 

 

By Leave a Comment

Alternative & Complementary Treatment for Emotional and Physical Health

Self-care and ethics for psychologistsWith changes in health care following the Affordable Care Act, providers will soon emphasize health promotion over disease management. Integrating alternative and complementary approaches to well-being will provide patients with ways to manage their health and provide a foundation for preventing new health problems. Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) has been practiced for the last 25+ years in the United States, but many of these approaches have a much longer history: well over 2,000 years, in the case of yoga. In the last decade, studies examining the effects of yoga have increased substantially—important for yoga’s acceptance as a mainstream treatment.

CAM includes health-care practices that have not generally been considered part of conventional medicine. In 1991 Congress passed legislation to provide the National Institute of Health (NIH) with $2 million in order to study unconventional medicine. Some of the most widely studied alternative approaches to health promotion and maintenance include biofeedback, meditation, dietary supplements, chiropractic treatment, massage therapy, relaxation training, movement therapy, art therapy, and acupuncture, together with spirituality, religion, and prayer. Other approaches, such as hypnosis and bodywork (including Reiki, Hanna Somatic Education, and Feldenkrais), have also been used for several decades.

Biofeedback is One of Many Treatments Shown to be Effective in Treating Medical Problems

Biofeedback can help many medical problems.
Biofeedback Before the Digital Age

I incorporated biofeedback training for the patients I saw during the eight years I worked at Kaiser Hospital in Vallejo, CA. Biofeedback informs a patient of important physical measures such as muscle tension, skin temperature, brain wave activity, and heart rate. The photo shows what was state-of-the-art equipment at the time (circa 1988.)
I treated patients referred by their PCPs, neurologists, and orthopedic physicians for chronic medical problems. These patients were considered ‘high utilizers’ of medical services such as doctor office visits, prescription drugs, and special procedures. Using a treatment model that included cognitive-behavioral therapy, biofeedback, relaxation and meditation training, patients suffering with chronic headache were able to reduce doctor’s office visits by 75%, medications by 56%, emergency room visits by 19%, and special procedures by 6% for up to five years after treatment.

We have come a long way since then. Digital developments since those early years have dramatically changed the way biofeedback services are delivered. But the principle is the same: taking responsibility for your own health.

Taking Responsibility for Your Health is Key to Lasting Change

Teaching a client to control muscle tension so they can reduce musculoskeletal pain, or showing a migraine sufferer how to increase hand temperature through relaxation and biofeedback, involves learning to be aware of stress and the body’s automatic reaction to it. Of course there are some that would rather take a pill to relax, but that doesn’t change the psychophysiological baseline. Taking a pill or a drink will give temporary relief, but will not lead to lasting changes in how the body handles stress, thereby preventing headaches or pain altogether—not treating them once they occur. Implementing positive health behaviors require discipline and consistency. When physicians have 20-minute appointments –once or twice a year—there is not sufficient time to instruct and follow-up on a patient’s exercise or yoga practice. For people who are dealing with significant life stress, medical problems or depression, making life style changes can feel insurmountable. One yoga class will not help an achy back, nor will a meditation class help control anxiety if the home practice component is ignored. Psychotherapy aimed at helping integrate and continue healthy changes can help.

Wearable sensors such as Nike+ FuelBand or the Fitbit One monitor everything from heart rate, steps taken, sleep quality, energy used, and skin temperature. As a recent New York Times article reported, there is even an app to detect signs of depression in diabetes patients through smartphones.

Taking responsibility for health by using both ancient practices and newly emerging technologies and treatments will improve lives and ultimately reduce medical costs. But the most profound outcome is engagement with a life lived fully.

References:

“The Integration of Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) Into
the Practice of Psychology: A Vision for the Future,” in Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 2012, Vol. 43, No. 6, 576–585.

Changes in medical utilization after biofeedback treatment for headache: Long-term follow-up. O’Grady, Susan J. Dissertation Abstracts International, Vol 49(1-B), Jul 1988, 241.

National Institutes of Health (NIH). (2011). NIH—The NIH almanac (NCCAM). http://www.nih.gov/about/almanac/ organization/NCCAM.htm

By 1 Comment

Depressed, anxious, or both? Part Two

Depression is a Treatable Illness

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 17 million adult Americans suffer from depression during any 1-year period. Depression is an illness that carries with it a high cost in terms of relationship problems, family suffering and lost work productivity. Yet, depression is treatable.

Everyone feels down from time to time, and often these feelings can be attributed to a situational or environmental cause. A rift with a friend, or the loss of a job, can cause feelings of self-doubt that will leave one feeling sad for a time. But when feelings such as helplessness, sadness, or hopelessness last longer than a month, there may be more going on.

In the case of job loss, it is normal to feel depressed and worried about the prospect of finding new work and to ponder what led to being let go, or fired. But if the thoughts turn to rumination about failure, and hopelessness about finding another job, then it may be time to seek treatment.
Depression wrecks motivation through its characteristic anhedonia—Latin for inability to feel pleasure. Often this is a gradual process, creeping up over time in such a way that even the depressed person doesn’t see it coming. One day, it is there. Unshakable, unspeakable. Shame and self-doubt take hold as feelings of worthlessness erode a once-affable person. Family and friends try to help, but often give up after their attempts are met with an attitude of hopelessness.

How Psychotherapy Can Help

In my work with clients who come in for psychotherapy because of depression or anxiety, I take a careful history to see if medical problems may be causing any or all of the symptoms. Biological factors can interact with mood, increasing the severity of depression. Medical disorders such as low thyroid can mimic depression and cause some of the same symptoms such as low energy, sleep disturbance, and difficulty with focus and concentration. Once medical causes are ruled out, we reconstruct the timeline of when they starting feeling depressed or anxious. Sometimes these feelings are rooted in childhood experiences and memories, but not always. We start where the clients are, giving them a wee bit of mastery so they can feel hopeful.
Recapturing a sense of mastery is vitally important in recovery from depression. In psychotherapy, we identify what negative or distorted thinking may be contributing to feelings of helplessness. Research has shown that when someone feels helpless and out of control, they tend to avoid those situations where they are likely to feel overwhelmed. Yet, like the phobic avoidance described in the previous post, the more you avoid life, the more depressed you will become. Psychotherapy helps people to see the choices they make and to slowly incorporate fulfilling activities back into their lives. Unlike a family member making the suggestions that can easily feel like a demand or criticism-the collaborative relationship developed in counseling, allows the depressed person to take ownership for their healing. This in itself gives back a sense of control. Gradually, people can identify options and set realistic goals that enhance their sense of well-being. Whatever triggered the depressed feelings is seen from a different vantage, and automatic negative thinking begins to diminish. Going back to bed becomes less appealing as life feels more enticing.

By 2 Comments

How Anger Hurts Relationships

Getting angry…is easy and everyone can do it; but doing it . . . in the right amount, at the right time, and for the right end, and in the right way is no longer easy, nor can everyone do it. —Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics (II.9, 1109a2

Managing Conflict Rather than Eliminating Conflict

Conflict is inevitable in any long-term relationship. In the Gottman approach to couples counseling, we help clients understand that conflict is normal. Rather than eliminating conflict, we help them learn to manage it. Why can’t all conflicts be resolved? Because backgrounds and personalities don’t match exactly. Couples will always have some areas of disagreement: neat/tidy, disorganized/scheduled, emotionally expressive/keeps feelings inside, to name a few. Even two tidy people may disagree on who does more work around the house or, perhaps, what cleaning routine to follow.

By the time couples come to counseling, they have often been having the same argument in different forms for many years. The issue has become gridlocked—and just as drivers stuck in traffic feel angry and frustrated, partners who can’t move beyond an issue start having negative feelings about each other and the relationship.

Learning to Listen Without Anger

Anger is often the result of feeling misunderstood. When one partner feels like they are not being heard on a particular issue, and they likewise have trouble listening to their partner’s point of view, anger simmers, sometimes for years—finally coming to a roaring boil.

Jim and Joan came to counseling because she felt he stopped participating in the family years ago. Meanwhile, Jim felt disenfranchised. His views and opinions on how they were raising the kids were ignored and he felt he was “just a paycheck.” Joan felt he had checked out and was uninterested in her, the kids, or their home. They were both angry; they both felt the other was wrong. When they tried to discuss this problem it always escalated to screaming and yelling, often within earshot of the kids.

When they started couples counseling, they had had this same fight many, many times. Jim would withdraw; Joan would become more focused on her friends and the women in the neighborhood, whom she confided in and got support from. Joan and Jim were emotionally estranged. Not surprisingly, intimacy, both emotional and physical, had come to a grinding halt.

Gridlocked Problems: Begining to Compromise

When I listened to them discussing a variation of this gridlocked problem, I saw that each became angry quickly, and the result was they stopped listening to the other. Joan would lecture and Jim would face the other way, clamming up. People have many ways of expressing anger: he was seething inside quietly, and she was ranting loudly, but both were angry.

I stopped them when this happened and had them take just a few minutes to calm themselves. To go from anger to calm by learning to self-soothe is an important skill in all relationships, but especially in marriage. It can take just a few minutes to do this. This isn’t about swallowing or denying anger; the trick is to then re-engage in the conflict discussion with a more receptive and less defensive tone.

Staying angry is much easier, but “doing it in the right amount, at the right time, and for the right end, and in the right way” (as Aristotle said) produces quite different results when dealing with a perpetual problem. It is okay to be angry. But understanding why you are angry, and learning to express your feelings in a way that is clear and void of the four horsemen will lead to a very different conversation with a different outcome. Once Joan and Jim learned to talk about their conflicts without getting flooded, they listened to each other with deeper respect for the other’s feelings. This is the first step in learning to compromise.

Practicing self-soothing is something you can do at any age, and at just about any time. Listen to this simple three-minute ”breathing space” to feel the difference in your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations when you take just a few minutes out of a difficult situation. For it is not just the repeated, unmanaged fights that damage the relationship, but the skewed and distorted perceptions that keep you stuck in gridlock, stewing, for years—over the same issue.

Try this brief relaxation exercise:  Three Minute Mindfulness